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Relationship with Parents

1. You are standing on the threshold of a legal formalization of your relations. (Yes, this concept relates to your children and to your relationship with the parents of your future spouse as well). What does the term “parents” mean to you? Write your own definition of this term and share it with your fiancé.

2. What examples of relationships with parents do we find in the Holy Scriptures? Read the following three passages and ask yourself the following question: “How would I behave if I was in the same situation?”

Rebekah and the daughters-in-law. Genesis, 26-27

Moses and the father-in-law. Exodus, 18:13–24

Ruth and Naomi. Ruth

3. Describe an ideal relationship with one’s parents, from your point of view.

4. What kind of relationship, in your opinion, do your parents and the parents of your fiancé consider ideal?

5. Gen. 2:24; Matt. 19:5; Mark, 10:7-8; Eph.5:31 – all these passages discuss the same topic. What does the word “leave” mean for you?

6. If your parents are providing you with financial assistance in order for you to start your life together, what are they expecting in return?

7. Do you agree to accept financial assistance from your parents on these terms?

8. How are your parents reacting to your plans on marriage?

9. Which emotional ties with your parents complicate your relationship with them? Explain.

10. In your opinion, how will your future father and mother-in-law treat you?

11. In your opinion, what can interfere in your relationship with your father and future mother-in-law?

12. How was your relationship with your parents in your childhood?

13. Describe your current relationship with your parents.

14. How, in your opinion, is your future spouse treated by your parents?

15. What is one quality in your fiancé that is disliked by your parents?

16. What three qualities in the parents of your future spouse do you especially value?

17. What traditions in your family differ from the family traditions of your fiancé?

18. Describe how, where, and with whom you would like to celebrate the Christmas together.

19. How have you shown your parents and your future parents-in-law that you value them?

20. How have you expressed positive feelings for your parents and your future parents-in-law in the past two weeks?

21. What else could you have said or could say in the near future to your parents and future parents-in-law in order to express your appreciation?

22. What actions have you taken in order to help your parents and your future in-laws demonstrate their love for you as a future wedded couple?

23. How could you do this in the future, after you will become spouses?

Write two letters.

Write the first letter to your parents. Express your gratitude and love for the fact that you have received life through them. Attempt to persuade them that, in leaving, you are not forgetting them, and not ceasing to love, respect, and care for them.

Write the second letter to your future in-laws. Write why you plan on becoming related and at the same time, thank them for their son or daughter, who you are choosing as a spouse. This may strengthen your future relationship.

Describe your parents’ attitude toward your marriage.
Describe the attitude of your future relatives toward your marriage.

24. Do your parents like the parents of your fiancé? Why do you think?

25. Name any two traits that you like in your future mother-in-law.

26. Name any two traits that you like in your future father-in-law.

27. Name any trait that you DON’T like in your future mother-in-law.

28. Name any trait that you DON’T like in your future father-in-law.

29. How do you plan on treating the character traits that you find unpleasant in parents?

If you felt that your relatives were interfering in your life, what would you do? (Specify an answer regardless of whether you consider it ideal).
Tell them to leave
Defend yourself and prove their wrongdoing
Not talk to them
Become angry and let them know about it
Attempt to reconcile with them
Simply accept them
Visit them no more
Pray for them
Speak to them directly, telling them everything that you think about them

Other (describe):

Your idea of the role of relatives in a marriage
Parents may well live with married children.
Young couples should consult their parents for advice from time to time.
During a vacation, an equal amount of time should be spent with parents.
It is perfectly normal to accept money from parents.
Young couples should do everything that promotes their happiness, even if it is to the detriment of their parents.

Counselor's final notes

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